Screendoor Sub

Woke up at 6am to the gentle pre-recorded request that I show up at some 5th grade classroom in a hour and a half. Caught a break everywhere else though, this was one of those classes who take their spelling workbooks seriously and whose teacher owns an extensive video collection. Add a minimum day cherry on top of that and we have ourselves an easy-100-bucks sundae. Oh, and computers! Sweet, sweet computers with their attention grabbing, kid quieting games.
Remember Oregon Trail and Number Munchers, educational computer games? Well they've been replaced by "Nanosaur." Kids love Nanosaur; they control a Velociraptor during prehistoric times, evading the jaws of a T-Rex here or a Stegosaurus' spiked tail there during their search for prey. All they have to defend themselves is their own wits and nanosaur's freekin' jetpack and laser gun!
How did the dinosaurs become extinct Billy?
They ran out of fuel. Fuel for their freekin' jetpacks!
Maybe I'm jealous, after all what was there to look forward to in Oregon Trail? Fording the river? Cases of dysentery? But, at least it was educational. Like, I learned that, well, the toll road is a rip, because it's easy enough to raft down that river by Oregon, you know that one river, with the rocks.